The third week of the NFL season starts tonight. The Rams and 49ers kick off another pivotal week of gridiron mayhem. Who will be this weeks biggest winners and losers? Cue up that magic 8-ball.
Thursday Night Football
1-1 LA Rams (-3) @ 0-2 49ers
The two youngest HC’s in the league go “head to head” for the first time. Sean McVay may still be too young to run for POTUS but he’s got the better team, and the better scheme.
🏈Rams 24 – 49ers 17
Sunday Morning Futbol’ 🇬🇧
2-0 Ravens (-3.5) @ 1-1 Jags 9:30 in AM London
The English are used to low scoring football matches with bad passing. This should feel like Stoke City vs Hull. Hopefully sending Blake Bortles abroad doesn’t permanently ruin US-British relations.
🏈Ravens 18 – Jags 6
1 PM Kick-Off
2-0 Broncos (-3) @ 1-1 Bills
The Broncos D has looked like it’s back to being championship caliber. The Bills didn’t score a TD last week. This will end badly.
🏈Denver 35 – Buffalo 10
0-2 Saints @ 2-0 Panthers (-5.5)
The Panthers have looked average while going 2-0, the Saints have looked like hot garbage while going 0-2. The Panthers should win this game in spite of their anemic offense. The Saints D is just that bad. Drew Brees keeps it close.
🏈Carolina 27 – Saints 24
2-0 Steelers (-7) @ 0-2 Bears
The Steelers are good, the Bears start Mike Glennon at QB. This game could turn into a bloodbath.
🏈Pit 37 – Chi 3
2-0 Atl Falcons (-3) @ 2-0 Det Lions
This game may be the best match-up of the week. Both teams have come out the gates strong this season. Hopefully for Atlanta the Lions don’t fall behind 28-3.
🏈Atlanta 31 – Lions 27
0-2 Browns (-1.5) @ 0-2 Colts
This game should be banned. Banned from TV, banned from gambling, banned from fantasy football. Don’t let any fans in and just send out a press release after it’s over.
🏈Browns 24 – Colts 11
2-0 Bucs @ 1-1 Vikings (-1.5)
The Bucs are a talented young team on the rise. The Vikes may have to start Case Keenum at QB. The Minny D should keep things close but at the end of the day, the Bucs will be the team doing the pillaging.
🏈Tampa Bay 25 – Vikings 18
1-1 Texans @ 1-1 Pats (13.5)
Last season the Pats destroyed the Texans under the leadership of Jacoby Brissett. Tom Brady is back for this one. Advantage Patriots.
🏈NE 36 – Hou 13
1-0 Dolphins (-6) @ 0-2 NY Jets
The Dolphins became so desperate after they lost Ryan Tannehill for the season that they lured Jay Cutler out of retirement. The Jets QB situation is so bad they should call Vinny Testeverde.
🏈Miami 27 – Jets 7
0-2 NY Giants @ 1-1 Eagles (-6)
The Giants are a dumpster fire that’s been soaked in gasoline. They can’t run the ball, pass block, or catch passes. The Eagles have looked decent. Eli may literally die from the Eagles pass rush.
🏈Eagles 26 – Giants 15
4:05 PM Kick-Off
1-1 Seahawks @ 1-1 Titans (2.5)
This game features two of the leagues most mobile and dynamic QBs. It also features possibly the biggest discrepancy between O-line talent in NFL history. Seattle’s D has been stingy, but I think Mariota may have more magic up his sleeves that Wilson in this one.
🏈Titans 21 – Seahawks 16
4:25 PM Kick-Off
0-2 Bengals @ 1-1 Packers (-9)
Cincy has yet to score a TD this season. The Packers still have Aaron Rodgers. Cincy is in a whole lot of trouble.
🏈Packers 33 – Bengals 12
2-0 Chiefs (-3) @ 0-2 LA Chargers
The Chiefs have played well en route to a 2-0 start. The Chargers have missed two kicks that have cost them both of their games so far. I doubt this game will come down to Younghoe Koo.
🏈Chiefs 31 – Chargers 17
Sunday Night Football
2-0 Raiders (-3) @ 1-1 Redskins
The Raiders have looked impressive while surging out to an undefeated start. The Redskins usually play awful in prime time home games. Good chance Raider nation invades FedEx Field.
🏈Raiders 32 – Redskins 24
Monday NIght Football
1-1 Cowboys (-3) @ 1-1 Cardinals
Denver dominated the Cowboys last week. The Cards needed overtime just to beat the Luck-less Colts. Zeke is about to eat, a lot.
Cowboys 35 – Cards 21